Living in a Psalm

Well, I did it -- I preached my very first sermon since my first year in seminary. Honestly, I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it. God certainly showed his goodness to me through the whole process; in fact, he used the Psalm I studied and the message I prepared to encourage me!

When I preached in class, I felt incredibly peaceful and confident - and that confidence really didn't come from my preparation (since I hadn't even really practiced the sermon aloud and actually had no idea how many minutes it would turn out to be...). I really think I sensed the peace of the Spirit. That was cool.

Here's another cool thing: I had been kind of intimidated to preach in front of all the guys in my class (since seminarians are notorious for nit-picking at sermons), but after my sermon several of the guys told me it was just what they needed to hear that morning. The main theme of my sermon was joy in the midst of lament, and one guy in particular told me that he had come to class praying that God would show him how to be joyful. Now THAT's awesome.

Whew! I'm almost done with all the work for my MDiv degree... kinda crazy...

Liturgy of Lament? Done.
Sermon on Psalm 126? In progress. NOT panicking. Really
Books and reading reports for class on Sexual Identity? Thursday.

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By the way (particularly for Ryan), I think I figured out what my mysterious factor "X" has been, although I think the equation will actually have to include X1 and X2 . For me, X1 is the thought/feeling that since I'm not going to be able to complete whatever task is before me "perfectly" (at least according to my standards), what's the use in trying? Interesting and slightly twisted, eh? I think there's still an X2 floating around out there....

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One of the hats I currently wear at TEDS is that of the president of a group for women graduate students (the group has been through many names with just as many acronyms, none of which I remotely find enjoyable). We are welcoming a guest speaker next Monday, Carolyn Custis James, and I'm really excited! Among other things, I'm intrigued by the fact that she was one of the first women students to register at Dallas Theological Seminary... Check out her short Bio.

While I was looking at one of the blogs to which Ms. James occasionally contributes, I ran across an interesting article: The Rise of Gender Fundamentalism. Frightening. But I fear that in some circles, it strikes all too close to home...

Liturgy of Lament

It's amazing to me that the fewer classes I take, the harder it is to actually get my work done for said classes. You'd think the opposite would be true, right? But no.

I have an integration paper due this Friday for my "Loss and Grief" class, the only real paper required for the class. This is the last class that really "counts" toward my degree - you'd think that would be motivation enough for me to get 'er done. But no.

I chose a topic for this paper that should really engage me: putting together a "Liturgy of Lament" for our context at Church of the Redeemer and explaining how it functions to help those experiencing grief and loss. Worship + pastoral care = me being interested. At least, so you'd think. But no! The equation needs some tweaking: worship + pastoral care - ? = me lacking motivation.

Somehow, I know I'll get it done. And then I'll move on to my sermon on Psalm 126. And then I'll write another post about how I'm unmotivated to complete THAT assignment. Ahhh... grad school fourth-year-itis strikes again.

Image from this website.

Biblical Curse Generator

How'd you like to be able to whip out these zingers at the drop of a hat?

Hear this, thou child of Jezebel, for you will have more mother-in-laws than King Solomon!

May you fall under a speeding chariot, O ye irritating inhabitant of Gath!

I hope you will be taunted by the king's concubines, thou son of thunder!

Check out this link: http://ship.saintsimeon.co.uk/curses/index.html

Enjoy!

Adventures at Garrett [Less] Evangelical [than Trinity] Divinity School

TEDS. GETS. Similar acronyms, no? My J-term at Garrett, "Loss and Grief," wrapped up last week, and overall my experience at a seminary outside of TEDS was well worth while! Here are a few snapshots of the past couple of weeks for me:

• My professor was named Dr. Adolf Hansen. Based on name alone, I envisioned this tall, martially grey-haired, angry professor with an extreme German accent. "Zee loss??!! Zee grief?!! You must all get over zeeze things, you puny little people!!" In fact, Dr. Hansen is a dear, dear white-haired gentleman, with a huge heart for people, inside and outside of the classroom. Although we probably disagreed on some doctrinal matters (such as whether the Gospels reflect what Jesus actually said - he was a NT scholar for much of his life), his life reflected Christ in a big way. He inspired me with his stories of how he cares for people and witnesses to his neighbors. AND he doesn't believe God will automatically save all people (a doctrinal bonus for a non-evangelical) , although he says, "but God wants to save all people... and He might!"

• In terms of gender, I was in the majority in the classroom - an unusual event in my seminary experience. When I mentioned this fact with a wry smile on the first day we met, the entire class laughed for about a minute. Apparently evangelicals have a reputation. :)

• Speaking of which, it was very interesting being one of the few evangelicals in the class. In a small group discussion, I tried to express my vague discomfort with an article that talked about C.S. Lewis' spirituality without talking about God, and my partner told me that she was coming from a different place: she believed, "Jews, Muslims, Christians [I can't remember if she went further than that] - we all worship the same God. And I work in healing energy - healing energy, healing prayer - it's all the same thing, just different words." It reminded me how very insulated I am at TEDS... and it frightened me that I wasn't sure exactly what to say. So, I just listened.

• Dr. Hansen's teaching style was very different from what I've encountered in most classes at TEDS. Rather than lecturing from on high the entire class period, he used a combination of lecture, dicussion of readings, personal reflection, video, and other interactive exercises... and although I received less pure content and took far fewer notes than I usually do in classes, I think the material from the class sunk into my mind far more quickly than in most classes. So wait... lecture isn't the only (or even the best?!!) way to teach a class...

• At the same time, one of my favorite class period at GETS was a lecture of sorts. A guest speaker from Garrett, Dr. Pamela Lightsley, spoke to us for about an hour and a half one afternoon on the topic of African-American grief, and she was absolutely fascinating! As an African-American woman who is ordained as a deacon in the Methodist church (I think - don't quote me on that one... might be the AME), she has seen a heck of a lot, particularly since she ministers a great deal on the South Side. Imagine conducting a funeral for someone who died in a gang fight, so that the police have to come to the funeral just to make sure things don't explode into further violence...

• I have to say, it was awesome being in a class at GETS around the time of Obama's inauguration. I'm not saying that Obama is the hope of the world (it seems to me that we already have a Savior), but there's no doubt that his election is a historic moment for our country. Dr. Hansen was involved in pushing for civil rights and greater justice for African-Americans throughout his career, so hearing his excitement about how far things have come, as well as the reflections of the two African-American students in the class, made me very thankful for the progress made in our country over the past fifty years. We're not out of the woods by any means, but for now, I'll celebrate the moment!

• As you might imagine, a course on "Loss and Grief" brings up all sorts of things in a person who enters into the material. Several students in the class had pretty heart-breaking stories that they shared with the class - in fact, having a safe place to share their stories seemed to actually help a few students move forward in their grief processes. Personally, the class showed me that I've got a few things of my own to grieve - which is good to realize, but pretty darn scary. In fact, I suspect that I've only begun to learn how to grieve...
  

• ... for everyone grieves differently! Throw out the old 5-step model of grief (developed by Kübler-Ross, BY the way), and usher in the newer, more flexible models of grief. As in so many other areas of study and practice, thanatology is moving away from "one-size-fits-all," somewhat prescriptive models (oh-so-modern!) and toward personal, culturally-sensitive, descriptive, non-judgmental models (hello postmodernism!). I think this trend is a positive correction of reductionistic models for the most part, and even the new models emphasize that disfunctional ways to grieve exist - but treating "complicated grief" must be done on a case-by-case basis. In other words, since each person grieves in his or her own unique way, influenced by factors such as culture, gender, age, other experiences of loss, and personality, determining what is "healthy" grief and what is "unhealthy" grief cannot be done out of context. Whew! Less guilt to attach to non-moral issues! For the guilt-stricken (which is all of us at one time or another), this is good news!

Anyway, those are just a few thoughts/vignettes from the wonderful world of Garrett. Not including the $50 parking ticket I got the first day of class, the 45-minute commute I performed multiple times in a blizzard, the impossibility of finding parking on campus after 8 in the morning, and the days the classroom was so cold I had to wear my winter coat (the one that makes me look like a big marshmallow) inside, "Loss and Grief" was well worthwhile!

A little melancholy for a cold winter's night

A time to mourn--
the last red dew-drops
clinging
as the leaves slowly shroud the ground;
the final crumbs
of a spent plate--
napkin crumpled,
rejected;
the last echoes of a masterpiece
dying into memory
silent.
The good is wrenched away.
The void is filled with pain.
hope hurts--
dreams dead--
anticipating dully the new day.

~ARH 10/23/08, rev. 1/18/09~

Starting next Monday, I'm going to be taking a class ("Loss and Grief") NOT at Trinity, but at a nearby theological seminary. Let's look at a few facts:
- This nearby seminary is loosely affiliated with the United Methodist Church
- This nearby seminary tends to be much more liberal than TEDS.
- The syllabus doesn't really mention Scripture. That would never happen at TEDS.
- The syllabus DOES talk about ministry and about God. This is a plus.
- The first book we have to read for the class is called, "Men Don't Cry... Women Do." Again, not real common at TEDS
- The assignments are mostly personal reflection, not theological or biblical. Not a criticism, just different!

This could get interesting...