The prodigal, retold

Imagine how different the story would be if the prodigal son refused to accept his father's grace...

"The Prodigal Retold"

My father
Looks at me across the table--
which groans from the weight of so much meat
and bread and cake and wine--
past the laughing faces of
the other servants, who revel
in the wonder of my return
and the impromptu feast.

His eyes are sad.
They ask why I choke down bread crusts and
sip at stale water and
pass over the richer treats.
Is my meat not good?
Is my wine not to your liking?
I offer you my bounty--
why do you not receive?
This is my body, given for you--
take and eat!


I cannot.
I must not.
It is too painful to receive that which
I do not deserve, that which
I have not earned.
So here I sit--
hungry
guilty
mourning
fearing
rejecting the feast
as I reject
my self.

I am preaching tonight. I just printed off the hard copy of my sermon, which is always a relief!

This is the first sermon I've preached in church that is completely new material -- the only other sermon I've given so far (last Thanksgiving) drew heavily from a sermon I wrote for a seminary class. So I'm excited -- but also nervous.

You see, this sermon will not be a "textbook" sermon. I was trained in an (über-) evangelical seminary that has VERY strong opinions/beliefs about what makes a good sermon -- or even what makes a "real" sermon. In two words: consecutive exposition. Line-by-line exegesis of the biblical text. A clear outline, with a clear "proposition" offered, preferably at the beginning of the sermon. Each main point anchored in the text, backed up with illustrations and explanation. Highly linear.

Well, I just couldn't force my sermon into that kind of rhetorical corset this time around. Part of me wanted to -- the part that says, "People will judge you if you don't give a technically excellent sermon -- especially since you're a girl." I'm still a bit scared that I will be dismissed tonight because my sermon is more fluid than linear.

But I just couldn't do it. My sense is that what God wants to do tonight, through the texts, music, liturgy, and sermon, is to move the congregation -- for the significance of good Friday to sink into hearts, not just enter into minds. You see, sometimes exegesis keeps us at a distance, comfortably removed from the text, under the illusion that we can approach God objectively and cognitively. But God wants more than (though not less than) our minds.

My congregation is well educated and well churched. And that's good! But it can also numb us to the impact events like Good Friday ought to have on our hearts. So tonight, I'm taking a risk -- and I pray that God will use it.