Think positive

So in my counseling session the other day, I managed to come up with an analogy that really blew away my counselor (C.B.).  We've been talking off and on about how I tend to dwell on the negative aspects of my life so much that the positive elements are almost disqualified from "counting."  So, in describing the effects this can have on my outlook, I came up with this analogy:

Imagine you were to take a movie and fast-forward through all the happy/positive parts.  You'd be left with a very different movie!  And your interpretation of that movie would be completely different -- and, in fact, distorted.


That's what it's like to dwell on the negative in life and skim over the positive -- distorted.  Somehow, coming up with this image has helped me describe an imbalance I'm trying to correct.

It's true -- life will always have its downsides.  However, as I'm learning, the goods/positives are just as real as the negatives, and just as worthy of lingering.  So, I'm trying to learn to linger in the beautiful moments too, rather than taking them for granted.  I can already tell: it's a worthwhile exercise!

I'm back... I think...

So....  it's been awhile since I've posted, eh?  Life has been full -- in a good way.  I'm hoping to get back to blogging (I know, every blogger says that... and then many of us disappear for a year again).  But really, I'm hopeful.

The wedding was amazing -- one of the best days of my life!  Here's one of our many pictures from the day:

Lately, I've been thinking through wrestling with some big questions.  I suppose they're abstract questions, but they have very concrete implications.  Questions like...

• What does it mean that God is the Healer?  How is it that we can pray, and pray, and pray for healing and not seem to see "results" -- or at least, the results we're looking for.  Does God desire to heal instantaneously, or does he heal primarily through non-miraculous means such as doctors, counselors, etc.?  This particular question has struck me over and over lately, particularly as I walk alongside several people who have chronic health problems.  "Lord, I know that you are the healer -- so why does it seem like you're not actually healing?"
• Why is life so hard, and why doesn't God make it better?  Maybe I'm losing my youthful idealism, I don't know -- but I'm certainly coming face to face with the fact that some things in life just stay hard, and some people seem to have a harder time than most.  Why have I been blessed with a wonderful relationship when others who long for it more than I did remain alone?  Why do terrible things keep happening to the same dear people?  Why doesn't God cut them a break?
• What difference does faith make in life?  Faith obviously doesn't make all our problems go away, guarantee that we won't get cancer, ensure that our loved ones will be protected from pain, etc.  I know the "right" answers here -- faith gives us hope, God sustains us, God provides, God delivers us -- but I'm wrestling with to what extent those truths I "know" correspond with what I see in the world.  

The bottom line is that there are a lot of things about God and about life that I've been taught through the years, and which I believe -- but there's a way in which I want these truths to become more real to me.  I want to believe with my whole heart that God is who I say he is, and who I've been taught he is.  It's a scary thing, to open up oneself to real questions like this -- but I trust that God will bring me through the questions into greater trust, and maybe even greater clarity.

It doesn't scare God when we wrestle with questions -- particularly when we include him in the dialogue.