I am preaching tonight. I just printed off the hard copy of my sermon, which is always a relief!

This is the first sermon I've preached in church that is completely new material -- the only other sermon I've given so far (last Thanksgiving) drew heavily from a sermon I wrote for a seminary class. So I'm excited -- but also nervous.

You see, this sermon will not be a "textbook" sermon. I was trained in an (über-) evangelical seminary that has VERY strong opinions/beliefs about what makes a good sermon -- or even what makes a "real" sermon. In two words: consecutive exposition. Line-by-line exegesis of the biblical text. A clear outline, with a clear "proposition" offered, preferably at the beginning of the sermon. Each main point anchored in the text, backed up with illustrations and explanation. Highly linear.

Well, I just couldn't force my sermon into that kind of rhetorical corset this time around. Part of me wanted to -- the part that says, "People will judge you if you don't give a technically excellent sermon -- especially since you're a girl." I'm still a bit scared that I will be dismissed tonight because my sermon is more fluid than linear.

But I just couldn't do it. My sense is that what God wants to do tonight, through the texts, music, liturgy, and sermon, is to move the congregation -- for the significance of good Friday to sink into hearts, not just enter into minds. You see, sometimes exegesis keeps us at a distance, comfortably removed from the text, under the illusion that we can approach God objectively and cognitively. But God wants more than (though not less than) our minds.

My congregation is well educated and well churched. And that's good! But it can also numb us to the impact events like Good Friday ought to have on our hearts. So tonight, I'm taking a risk -- and I pray that God will use it.