I have found myself saying these words numerous times lately, whether out of exasperation, humor, despair, or simply a sober recognition of the way it just is. Perhaps this feeling is merely a symptom of growing up, of beginning to focus more on people than on tasks, of learning what it means to love in the midst of the hard times, what it means to minister to those around us while in the midst of your own pain, what it means to be human, autonomous yet bound by cords only partly of our own making. Perhaps this is just "real life" in all of its bittersweet glory.
Why do we human beings so often just... miss each other by inches or leaps, lacking the depth perception to make two hands meet? Why do two good friends fall for the same guy? Why is it that romantic interests play Dominos, each piece chasing after a piece chasing after some other piece, and not Tetris, where each piece can fit cosily with its neighbors? Why is it that the ones least interested in Marriage are the ones wedded first? Why this disconnect?
So often these days, I can't help but to think of the Howie Day song, "Collide."
I'm open, you're closed /
Where I follow, you'll go /
I worry I won't see your face /
Light up again /
Even the best fall down sometimes /
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme /
Out of the doubt that fills my mind /
I somehow find /
You and I collide
As we walk through life, searching for connection, searching for a (the?) person with whom we can sit in radiant silence, are we left with nothing but collision? Or Providence, accurate as a scalpel, dependable as the sunrise?
I have begun this blog because I could not keep silent in this exploration of life and relationships, in my calling to follow Christ through the shifting shadows and my conviction that underneath the turbulence, life is more than mere collision.
Oh, life! Why you gotta be so bittersweet? Why you gotta be so complicated?
Sister, let's talk soon.
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