Will this be me in 40 years?

So I'm preaching today -- T-minus 2 hours and counting.

This will be the first time I have ever preached for a church, preached for anyone outside of an artificial "preaching lab" setting. In some ways, I'm less nervous since I'm not preaching for a grade! Seminarians are often the harshest critics when it comes to sermons...

That being said, I'm still nervous -- especially because I'm supposed to limit the sermon to 15 minutes, tops. Since I hate practicing sermons, I haven't read it out loud, so I actually have no idea how long it will turn out to be... I suspect it's too long. That probably means I will end up talking too fast, as I usually do. :)

However, fundamentally I'm excited! I get to preach! Plus, my family's here to celebrate Thanksgiving with me and the in-laws to be (!), so my family will be in the congregation to hear my very first sermon. I've already decided that my sermon won't be "perfect," and it's certainly not your typical "three points and poem" sermon (since I'm NOT a linear thinking type of person...), but I'm still excited.

The process of writing the sermon has been quite freeing, actually. A lot of the ground work for my sermon was handed to me, because it "just so happens" that the lectionary passages for the day include TWO -- that's right, not just one, but TWO -- passages that I have already studied in depth recently. I taught on the Gospel passage in our Sunday School a few weeks ago, and the Psalm for the day is the exact Psalm on which I preached last Spring for a seminary class. Oh that God... It feels like He's smiling on me in this process.

In fact, this sermon is part and parcel with much of what God is teaching me right now: trust in Him and not in myself. I've had the strangest sense of peace (well, most of the time) as I've prepared for this sermon, and it's not because I've spent billions of hours preparing (I haven't). But for some reason, I have been able to trust God with this sermon. And that's pretty darn cool.

On my own, I'm not capable of this type of trust. So.... thanks be to God for His care for me!