Updates

Summer is at an end; Fall is here.  Or so they say.  But this week's weather is absolutely perfect, almost too perfect for Chicagoland in early October.  And once again, I have been neglecting this blog.  I figure it's time for a few updates...

BBC Book Challenge
I've read several book from the BBC list since my last post:

The Remains of the Day, by Kazuo Ishiguro, is a fabulous book -- a deceptively peaceful bit of prose.  Taking place in England post-world-wars, narrated by an aging butler who is reflecting on his career and the changes he has seen, as well as struggling to belief in the worth of his lived profession, this is a perfect book for those who enjoy films such as Gosford Park and the recent BBC series Downton Abbey.

Jude the Obscure wasn't as depressing as the other Thomas Hardy novel I had read, Tess.  It was an interesting novel -- an interesting commentary on marriage and relationships.  I imagine it was quite scandalous in its day, though in this era of Jerry Springer and Grey's Anatomy, not so much.

After Thomas Hardy, I needed something lighter -- and The Wind in the Willows (Kenneth Graham) was the perfect something!

I may have read these stories when I was little, and I have CERTAINLY experienced Mr. Toad's Wild Ride multiple times at Disneyland... but the stories were charming and kept me captivated despite my "background knowledge".  One disadvantage of reading on my iPhone: I missed out on the book illustrations which were probably just as much a part of the original story as the words.

After that, I decided to tick the last Thomas Hardy novel off the list: Far from the Madding Crowd.  I really enjoyed this one, the most of the Thomas Hardy novels I've read.  Probably that's because it's one of his earlier novels, and thus much more cheerful.  It even has a fairly happy ending!

I'm still not sure why in the world any parents would name their daughter Bathsheba, but apparently Hardy didn't think it was too crazy.

On a side note, there are some pretty funny Google images that pop up when you search for "Far from the Madding Crowd" -- they must have made a movie about it in the 60s or something.




And currently, I am enthralled with a series of books that are NOT on the BBC list -- The Hunger Games and its two sequels.  I have this problem where I can carry around the mood I absorb from the books I read for days and days... and these books have particularly affected me!  But I love them just the same.  Although we'll see how much I love them once I actually finish the last book, which Erik told me doesn't end the way I want it to end...

Other Things
I've been thinking a lot about things like:

- Sustainable patterns of living and eating.  I joined a CSA, found the iPhone app and website "Better World Shopper," and am in general trying to be more conscious of what I eat and buy.  More about that later, I hope...

- Living with an "outward" focus, and helping my church develop more of an outward focus as well.  Social justice, reconciliation, the CCDA conference, tutoring at the Nuestro Center in Highwood (and using my rusty Spanish too!), exploring books like Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger -- these are new developments and mental preoccupations for me.  And I like it!

- Ways to use the vegetables we receive in our CSA box.  Last night I ate Roasted Beets with Swiss Chard, toasted almonds, and goat cheese.  It was yummy!  I'm so weird.

So there you go.  Now if I don't post again for another couple of months, at least I'll have slightly less to  fill in!

Reflections Upon Losing My iPhone

As I mentioned in my previous post, recently I lost my iPhone -- or had it stolen.  Or both.  I think dropped it (or set it down) in the courtyard (or the foyer) of the condo building where we live, and when I went back to look for it, it was gone.  So, either: 1) the phone is somewhere in our condo where neither my husband nor I have been able to find it, or 2) somebody took it and doesn't intend to give it back (I called and texted the phone multiple times in an attempt to retrieve it).

Yes, I've now suspended the AT&T account and changed all the passwords I could think to change.
No, I did not have the "find my iPhone" application installed.
Yes, I've searched the grounds, foyer, and condo multiple times.
Yes, I've posted signs and contacted the condo board.
Yes, I've done my share of Craigslist stalking to see if someone puts my phone up for sale.
No, I'm not yet "over" the loss of the phone.

Which brings me to the point of my post -- I'm conflicted about my reaction to the loss of my phone (which I had named Alice McNess, by the way -- Alice because the case was "Alice blue" and McNess for my husband's middle name because he surprised me with the phone in the first place).

When I was first looking for the phone and realized it was nowhere to be found, I burst into tears -- and cried for a long, long time.  Now, I'm not someone who enjoys crying.  In fact, I normally resist it with all my might.  But losing my iPhone made me lose my emotional control.  Why?

When I woke up the next day, I still felt upset and on the verge of tears, and I continued to feel upset for the rest of the day.  I kept going back over my actions, desperately checking my email and looking outside our front door to see if someone had responded to the posted signs and/or returned the phone.  I felt depressed, and I continued to feel upset and depressed off and on for most of this week -- even though my husband and I are in vacation this week!

When the internet connection at the lake house where we're staying was spotty, I kept thinking, "if only I had my iPhone, I could connect to this website in no time."  When I went on a run/walk and ended up a lot further away than I anticipated, I couldn't help but think, "I don't even have my phone with me in case I get lost or mugged!"  When Erik and I were in the car and needed to Google something, I would blurt out, "if I had my iPhone I could look it up!"  Pathetic, right?

Why do I feel so upset about losing that phone?  After all, it's just a THING, right?  Is it... ok that losing that phone made me go through all the phases of grief (except for acceptance - still waiting on that one)?

Does this mean that I've grown too attached to "earthly, material pleasures"? Did God "cause" me to lose my phone in order to show me that my priorities are skewed away from the things of His kingdom?  In fact, would it be wrong for me to replace my phone because that money could be better spent as a donation to compassion ministries, etc.?

What about the other ministers I know who have iPhones, and even iPads?  Are these things luxuries that an unselfish, responsible Christian should forgo, or are they more... neutral items?

I don't have a lot of nice things, and I didn't grow up having the latest, greatest technological marvels.  When I was little, my brother and I got excited when we went to the doctor because they would give us coupons for McDonalds hamburgers -- and that was the only time we got to eat at McDonalds because of the expense (that was before dollar menus).  I drooled over iPhones from when they first came out, but I didn't think I'd ever be able to have one.  So, when my husband surprised me with an iPhone before I had surgery last January, I was ECSTATIC!!!  I love surprises anyway, and this one was SO FUN!!!  The iPhone quickly integrated itself into my life, enabling me to check email wherever I was, browse Twitter while walking the dog, get discounts through "checking in" on Yelp, etc.  Did I mention that I loved it?

Having an iPhone always felt like a privilege, one that I don't think I ever took for granted.  And then all of a sudden, just when I was happy and energized from spending a few days with my parents in California, it was gone.  Not just lost at an airport or in a taxi cab -- lost on my home turf, and snatched out from under my nose.

So I feel terribly disappointed -- something I valued a lot, something that brought me a lot of enjoyment, is gone, and we can't afford to replace it right now.  And I feel angry, angry that someone would keep my one indulgent toy.  And I feel helpless, helpless because there's nothing I can do to turn back the clock and get it back.  And I feel guilty -- guilty that I feel so upset about losing a silly phone!  And I want to pray that it will be returned, but isn't that prayer... shallow at best, materialistic and selfish at worst?  I don't know.  I only know that I miss my phone, and I still hope that when I return from vacation, it will magically be waiting for me.

A Mixed Start

Well, I am midway through my two weeks of vacation, and so far the highlights have been:

• Visiting my parents in California for a few days
• Eating at my favorite seafood restaurant in CA, "The Crab Cooker"
• Spending a day at the beach (the real, ocean-rimming beach -- not the pathetic thing that lake-goers call the beach)
• A monstrous sunburn on certain parts of my formerly pasty Midwest body
• Visiting my brother in Santa Barbara and meeting his girlfriend (thankfully, I liked her -- unlike his ex!)
• Being the 6th person to hear and see the score for a new choral/orchestral work that one of my dad's friends wrote -- based on the 1st chapter of Job!!  Fascinating and moving.

Unfortunately, immediately after I returned to Illinois, my vacation took a turn for the worst -- my iPhone disappeared.  I think I dropped it somewhere in the courtyard or foyer of our apartment complex, and someone picked it up... and decided not to return it.  I'm still holding onto a little bit of hope that it will still be returned, but in the meantime I am grieving this little loss.

However, I've been making good progress on my book quest, and since I still have a week left of vacation (at my in-laws' lake house), there might be more progress to come!

In my last post, I mentioned that I was not impressed, thus far, with Wilkie Collins' The Woman in White.  Well, I ended up really enjoying the book!  During the first part of the book, I thought it was going to be a bunch of sentimental nonsense, but it turned out to be a bit of a mystery story, with wonderful twists and turns!  I can imagine that in its day it would have been an on-the-edge-of-your-seat thriller.  I loved the way Wilkie Collins experimented with different narrative voices, and I especially loved the way he took his time unfolding the "answers" to the many mysteries raised in the plot.  It's still a bit melodramatic in parts for my taste, but all-in-all a very enjoyable read.  I *think* I understand why it's on the list -- if Wilkie Collins had lived to see movies, he would have written a darn good thriller flick.

I finished another book too (The Remains of the Day), but I'll save my reflections on that for tomorrow.

David Copperfield

And once again, the iPhone Kindle format comes through -- I finished a major Dickens novel without any major difficulties!  I'm not sure whether I just found David Copperfield more readable than Bleak House, or my tastes have improved, or the iPhone format really does help me focus and feel like I'm making progress in the novel.   

[Side note: I keep forgetting that a Google search of "David Copperfield images" tends to pull up pictures of the magician.]

One way or another, I actually enjoyed David Copperfield.  Other than the fact that I hated Dora.  HATED that character.  Part of my ambivalence over Dickens in general is due to his sentimentality -- it really gets to me.  And Dora has to be one of his most sentimentalized (and inane) characters!  I realize that that's the point -- David doesn't end up calling her his "child-wife" for no reason -- but she drove me crazy!  And I just plain hate having my heartstrings yanked by Dickens in saccharine sentences like,

 "I wondered what she was thinking about, as I glanced in admiring silence at the little soft hand travelling up the row of buttons on my coat, and at the clustering hair that lay against my breast, and at the lashes of her downcast eyes, slightly rising as they followed her idle fingers.  At length her eyes were lifted up to mine, and she stood on tiptoe to give me, more thoughtfully than usual, that precious little kiss -- once, twice, three times -- and went out of the room."

I guess that isn't SO bad... but it's the best/worst example I could find quickly on my iPhone [one disadvantage of the Kindle thing -- you can't "flip through" the pages].

After prose that cloying, I feel like I should go read some Hemingway.

On the other hand, I loved David's aunt, Betsy Trotwood -- what a character!  I especially love how that tough old bird has such a tender, compassionate heart -- it was quite a relief when David (I keep wanting to call him Pip!) ends up in her care after all the travails of his miserable childhood.

Now I'm on to The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins.  Honestly, it's not my favorite so far.  I'd better read something non-Victorian after this one... 

Miscellany

1) If you are at all an Anglophile or at least a fan of BBC productions and British authors (Jane Austen comes to mind), the series "Downton Abbey" is a must see

2) I am reading David Copperfield, and I hate Dora. I hope Dickens kills her off soon, or makes her elope or something.

3) I am currently thinking through some ways in which my congregation might get more involved in serving the poor and "needy" in the Greater Chicago area. Anyone out there have some suggestions about what sort of things have worked for you (or not), people to talk to, organizations to investigate, etc,?

Crime and Punishment

I did it!  I finished a really really long Russian novel without major glitches!!

Some background:  I have tried (and failed) to finish The Brothers Karamazov at least four different times. One time, I was really making progress... and then my grad school classes resumed.  Try focusing on Brothers K while your mind is trying to juggle 10 different theological texts at once... yeah, didn't happen.  The only other Russian novel that I remember reading is Demons (also by Dostoevsky) in my senior seminar with Dr. Roger Lundin (Wheaton College).  It was a great class, but I still had a hard time connecting with that particular novel.  I had assumed that enjoyment of the great Russian classics would simply not come naturally to me.

Crime and Punishment changed all of that.  I loved it!  I genuinely loved it and loved the experience of reading it.  I'd like to read some critical essays on the novel so that I can delve deeper into some of the major themes of the novel -- I don't think this is a novel that you read once and say, "Ok, I've mastered that one."

I found myself mesmerized by the characters in the book, particularly the protagonist, Raskolnikov, and the magistrate, Porfiry Petrovitch. (Side note -- one advantage of my undergraduate foray into Dostoevsky is that I was prepared for each character to have a zillion names and nicknames that would be difficult to remember...).  I also found it brilliant the way D. crafted the relationship between Sonya, a young girl who is forced into prostitution to support her family, and Raskolnikov.  And to make Sonya the most "Christian" of the characters -- also brilliant.  The ending of the novel was perfect -- if you haven't read it, I'm not going to spoil it for you here.  Just read it.  (But don't read it first -- allow the book to build as D. intended!)

On a separate note, I read this entire book on my iPhone, using the Kindle app.  I actually found it easier to read the book this way -- I'm not sure why.  Perhaps the fact that the text was broken up into shorter pages because of the small size of the iPhone screen helped encourage me that I was making progress -- helped make it seem to go faster.  Perhaps it was the fact that I could read the book in bed while my husband falls asleep without needing a light on...

So my next project is David Copperfield by Charles Dickens, another author whose works I sometimes struggle to finish.  I am also reading this one on my iPhone, since I found I could download a free copy! So far I'm loving this book too -- I'm on a roll!

Catching up (again...)

And once again, it's time to catch up.  This is why I will never be an excellent blogger. :)

1) I finished The Grapes of Wrath and really liked it, even though I didn't really enjoy reading it (does that make sense?  I think I just wasn't in the reading mood).  I can see why it's a classic, and I especially enjoyed the style in which Steinbeck wrote the book -- particularly the intermediary chapters that were more abstract and poetic than the actual storyline.  The book is sad, that's for sure.  I hate that the dog got killed.  And I hate the system Steinbeck describes, where the ginormous farms exploit the workers.  It made me understand the importance of unions, at least in a situation like that!  It also made me think about how far removed most Americans are from "the land" today, and how hard it is to make a living as a farmer -- and it seems to me that it just shouldn't be that way.  Should it?

On a lighter note, the name Rosasharn (the way the Joad family pronounces "Rose of Sharon") never fails to crack me up!  For all of you currently in the "family way," I recommend that you seriously consider naming your baby girl Rose of Sharon.  Come on, it's unique, right?

2) I am currently reading Crime and Punishment, and, much to my surprise, loving it!  I usually have a hard time connecting with Russian literature, but this time around I actually look forward to reading it.   I started out reading a hard copy of the book, but as an experiment I downloaded a free copy into the Kindle app on my iPhone, and now I'm reading the book on my iPhone exclusively.  This is my first foray into the world of e-reading.  So far, I'm enjoying it more than I thought I would.  Maybe it's due to the fact that with my iPhone I can read in bed while Erik is sleeping without using a flashlight...

3) On a non-literary note, a few weeks ago I was ordained as a deacon in the Anglican Mission!  Woohoo!  Here I am in my new duds with my bishop, my rector, a fellow deacon, and Erik:

Here I am with my parents, who came out from SoCal for the event:

And here is Melvin, my MIL's party flamingo, dressed up for the occasion:

And now, back to what I am actually supposed to be doing with my day...