"God All-Sufficient"

This is a prayer from a wonderful little book of Puritan prayers (The Valley of Vision).

"God All -Sufficient"

O Lord of Grace,
The world is before me this day,
    and I am weak and fearful,
    but I look to thee for strength;
If I venture forth alone I stumble and fall,
    but on the Beloved's arms I am firm
    as the eternal hills;
If left to the treachery of my heart
    I shall shame thy Name,
   but if enlightened, guided, upheld by thy Spirit,
    I shall bring thee glory.
Be thou my arm to support,
       my strength to stand,
       my light to see,
       my feet to run,
       my shield to protect,
       my sword to repel,
       my sun to warm.
To enrich me will not diminish thy fullness;
All thy lovingkindness is in thy Son,
I bring him to thee in the arms of faith,
I urge his saving name as the One who died for me.
I plead his blood to pay my debts of wrong.
Accept his worthiness for my unworthiness,
    his sinlessness for my transgressions,
    his purity for my uncleanness,
    his sincerity for my guile,
    his truth for my deceits,
    his meekness for my pride,
    his constancy for my backslidings,
    his love for my enmity,
    his fullness for my emptiness,
    his faithfulness for my treachery,
    his obedience for my lawlessness,
    his glory for my shame,
    his devotedness for my waywardness,
    his holy life for my unchaste ways,
    his righteousness for my dead works,
    his death for my life.


Amen.

"Prayer when words won't come"

Wow... I just ran across this quote, and it really resonated with me -- particularly the last sentence:

Oh my Father, I have moments of deep unrest--moments when I know not what to ask by reason of the very excess of my wants. I have in these hours no words for Thee, no conscious prayers for Thee. My cry seems purely worldly; I want only the wings of a dove that I may flee away. Yet all the time Thou hast accepted my unrest as a prayer. Thou hast interpreted its cry for a dove's wings as a cry for Thee. Thou hast received the nameless longings of my heart as the intercessions of Thy Spirit. They are not yet the intercessions of my spirit; I know not what to ask. But Thou knowest what I ask, O my God. Thou knowest the name of that need which lies beneath my speechless groan. . . . Thou knowest that because I am made in Thine image I can find rest only in what gives rest to Thee; therefore Thou hast counted my unrest unto me for righteousness, and has called my groaning Thy Spirit's prayer.

~ George Matheson, in Mosaic Holy Bible, 179 ~

I am a person who has trouble resting, who indeed fears resting lest I fail to "keep up" with my relationships and responsibilities. I love the thought that because I am made in the image of God, I can find true rest only in the things that please God. This gives me hope that in seeking rest, I am not lazy or irresponsible, for in seeking rest, I am seeking God and His righteousness. In seeking rest, I am seeking godly being.

Scary, but worth it (or so I am told...).

Looking back...

Most of you will probably NOT be surprised when I say that I am a self-reflective person. I'm one of those people who keep old journals and occasionally go back and read them. Sometimes, I find it hard to fall asleep until I get my thoughts down on paper. So imagine my delight when, while putting some old notebooks in boxes (let's hear it for a mid-semester move), I found my folder from a class I took my first year at seminary: "Personal Assessment and Introduction to Ministry." Now I realize that all you TEDS people probably just gave a big groan... but I actually enjoyed that class! This morning, I've been looking through my thoughts about myself and about ministry - written three years ago. It's pretty fascinating to see where God has brought me, three years later.

As part of my "Life-Line" project, which basically involved writing a spiritual autobiography, I wrote the following prayer in response to what I saw as I looked back at God's work in my life.

Lord God, Father Almighty, how often I have cried out to you! I look back at myself and I see desperation, I hear weeping. Yet I look back at you and I see faithfulness, I hear comfort. For before I could cry out, You knew me. Before I knew how prideful I was, You prepared humility for me. Before I knew how little I knew You, You knew me better than I will ever know myself, and You loved me. When my whole life was dedicated to serving myself, You were preparing me for service. When I struggled against Your plans for my life, You were persistent in pulling me in the right direction. And in spite of myself--in spite of my pride, my ambition, my independence, my snobbery--You saved me, You granted me faith, You breathed new life into me by Your Word and Spirit, and You transformed my life. I praise You, Lord!

Holy Trinity, I am unworthy. And even my self-doubt is lack of faith: I fear that You are not enough to cover my inadequacy. Yet You have taught me that You alone are enough! You alone save me by Your grace! You alone have raised me up and given me a calling as a precious gift! You have guided my every step! You created me with a unique personality and passion, and You chose to create me this way. When I hate who I am (Kyrie eleison!), You show me Your love and remind me that I am who I am for a reason... and You are shaping who I am to conform to the image You designed me to reflect: the image of You Son. I praise You, Lord!